Learning how to encourage your husband spiritually might not be as complicated as we wives make it. Learn what a husband and ordained minister has to say. It just might surprise you!

happy man and woman walking on the beach at sunset

This is a guest post written by Brian Sloan. I’m excited for you to hear what a husband and ordained minister has to teach you as you’re learning how to encourage your husband spiritually.

How To Encourage Your Husband Spiritually

Have you ever seen an advertisement or title of an article that might go something like this – “Do This One Thing and Transform Your ___ (fill in the blank)? That’s somewhat of a standard clickbait for all sorts of online topics.

So, as we take a look at the topic of “How To Encourage Your Husband Spiritually,” I don’t want to say that if you “Do This One Thing” everything will be sunshine and roses and you will have an A+ Christian marriage. We all know that there is a lot more to it than that.

However, as a husband and a minister of the Gospel with 35 years of full-time church experience, it would be hard for me to overstate the importance of spouses encouraging one another spiritually.

So, although it’s not a silver bullet, If you’re in a marriage where there isn’t a lot of encouragement toward your spouse, applying the principle of encouragement actually can begin to Transform Your Marriage into the loving union it is designed to be.

In the 35 years of marriage to my lovely bride, I could think of very few things that are as important to me as encouragement from her. From the time we got married, to raising three children, and still now, as we recently have become empty nesters, it is so very important to me.

It is my prayer that some of what is said here will resonate with you and be helpful as you seek God’s will in your marriage.

Initiating a Cycle of Encouragement in Your Marriage

I am writing this article specifically for ladies. But, believe me, everything I am saying here also points right back to how men should be encouraging our wives as well. If we, as men, would love our “wives just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:25), I think that encouragement from our wives would flow like a river.

With that being said, if you’re thinking, “Well, I need some spiritual encouragement from my husband.” I agree. One of the ways that husbands should be demonstrating love for their wives is by encouraging them.

God can bring a marriage into a place where both husband and wife are encouraging each other. But, also know this – You can begin to encourage your husband in a greater way right now. You can begin that cycle of encouragement and trust that God has the power to grow your husband into a much greater encourager as well.

Your encouragement to your husband is like a seed that, when nurtured by God, can help your husband grow into a more faithful source of encouragement himself.

For me, as a husband at this point in my marriage and Christian life, I think I should be a great encourager. But, I still miss the mark more than I would like. However, I can say for a fact, that as my wife encourages me, it serves as a reminder for me. God can touch my heart through my wife and prompt me with a desire to encourage her more.

couple holding hands by a tree

Inspiring Spiritual Growth: A Wife’s Gentle But Powerful Influence

Godly wives and mothers have an incredibly sincere desire for their husbands to grow spiritually and become stronger spiritual leaders in the home. And, guess what? Many good Christian husbands have been spiritually influenced by their Christian wives. I’ve seen it again and again.

So…. I guess the wives need to get busy consistently preaching to their husbands about how they need to be more spiritually minded and Godly in their actions?? Well… nope…. I know I don’t need to tell you that. It really might be tempting sometimes, but we know that isn’t a great strategy to use.

On the contrary, a loving Christian wife might have to go back to the basics of encouraging her husband in general. That may be the place to start before you have the ear of your husband for the deeper, more spiritual aspects of his relationship with Christ. Depending on the spiritual condition of your marriage, you may need to go back and start with the basics of general practices of encouragement – no matter how simplistic they may seem.

Back To The Basics In Your Marriage

So, how you proceed may depend on the spiritual condition of your husband. Is he leading you and the family in a Christlike manner, seeking God’s will, and putting an emphasis on spiritual things? If he is, then you may have an open door for more personal conversations that encourage his spiritual growth.

However, what if your husband is a believer, but not very focused on spiritual growth or discipleship at this point? I’ve known some good men, who truly had received Christ as their Savior, but they still had not grown spiritually enough to receive the deeper spiritual encouragement that a wife might have and want to give. But, there is a way forward.

Or, what if the wife is married to an unbelieving husband? Certainly, she would have a strong desire for Him to come into a personal relationship with Christ. In that case, the wife must exercise wisdom over the long term in her desire to encourage him spiritually. Of course, his first step is to come to Christ.

So, keep in mind that the level of overt communication and encouragement about “spiritual” things can be very different in various circumstances. A wife doesn’t want to come on too strong in their “spiritual encouragement.”

This is why a wife may need to get “back to the basics” concerning encouragement. Husbands need basic life encouragement no matter where they are on their spiritual journey.

Spiritual Encouragement Includes the Small Things

In the previous section, I put quotations around the term spiritual encouragement. The reason for that is that, depending on the spiritual development of your husband, there are many ways to encourage a husband that are in the category of spiritual encouragement, but we might not initially think of them that way.

As Christians, we tend to separate what we call the “secular” and the “sacred” too many times. We can consciously or subconsciously put labels on our actions as “spiritual” or “non-spiritual.” Some of the things in which we may encourage our spouses may not seem like they are in the spiritual category. However, they are much more spiritual in nature than we think. They can lead us to greater marital health and spiritual openness in the future.

Without regular encouragement in everyday matters, a wife can find it challenging to engage her husband in deeper spiritual conversations.

For example, how should a wife classify statements like these to her husband?

“Wow. Your yard work looks great!”

“I appreciate how hard you work for our family.” 

“You look nice, today!” 

“You really handled that situation at work very well. I’m proud of you.” 

“Thanks for spending all the time with the kids today. You’re a good dad.”

“I’m praying for you today, honey.”

Although only the last one uses what we might call a spiritual term, “prayer,” each of those statements of encouragement are Godly, spiritual statements that can encourage a husband more than you think.

Quite a large number of us men may act like we don’t need encouragement about the simple things in life, but we do.” I certainly do…very much so. When a wife encourages their husband in the somewhat regular or mundane things of life it can help on the pathway to having greater access and opportunity to encourage him spiritually.

The deeper and more spiritually focused types of encouragement are great and a wife can be effective with those. However, you may have to begin in a more general fashion. The Holy Spirit can help you as you make those decisions.

woman on a seashore looking at the ocean

Be Consistent in Prayer – Seek Wisdom

The topic of encouraging your husband can be a special part of your prayer life. To spiritually encourage your spouse, you want access to the greatest possible guidance available. As Christians, we have that! As a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit within you and He can guide you as you seek to encourage your husband.

If you are unsure of how to encourage your husband today, ask the Holy Spirit to prompt you. He can give you thoughts, ideas, and insights about encouraging your husband that you might not have thought of.

Sometimes the area in which your husband needs encouragement may be very obvious. However, sometimes there may be a situation in which you just don’t know what to say or do. That’s one reason it’s great to consistently have an attitude of prayer as you go through your day. Yes, you may hear from God when you are in focused prayer or in a time alone with God. However, you have access to the wisdom of an all-wise God who can prompt you through His Holy Spirit at any time of the day.

 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.“ James 1:5 (ESV)

Celebrate and Acknowledge Spiritual Efforts

We’ve talked about how even the general words or acts of encouragement are helpful in the path to encourage your husband spiritually. However, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t times ahead (or perhaps currently) when a wife’s encouragement to her husband can be more spiritually in-depth.

It might be as small as thanking the husband for his church attendance, or maybe he has become more active in church or engaging more in spiritual development. Or, perhaps your husband has done so or is considering taking leadership in a Bible study. All of those are things to be acknowledged and celebrated. Those are certainly times that a wife should express to her husband how proud she is of his leadership.

You can allow the Holy Spirit to guide you as to when and how you acknowledge, encourage, and celebrate the spiritual growth and spiritual milestones of your husband.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” – Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)

Conclusion

The process of encouraging your husband spiritually is a very personal and nuanced one. We all need to understand that our words of encouragement for each other, no matter how simple, can plant seeds of a deeper spiritual unity in our marriages. Let’s encourage each other in the victories, and especially remember to encourage each other in the defeats or the hard times.

I hope this is an encouragement to you. Your role as a wife can be incredibly powerful in the spiritual maturity of your husband. Seek God’s wisdom regularly and rely on His Holy Spirit to guide you in when and how to encourage. Seek the Lord and pray that your encouragement not only encourages your husband but also results in your encouragement and makes your marriage better and brighter.

Brian is a Christian blogger at Living Praying and an ordained minister who served for 35 years in various full-time pastoral roles for several churches in the state of Georgia. He earned his Education degree from North Georgia State University and attended New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his wife live in southern Hall County, GA.

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