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Even writing the word “quitting” for the title of his post is difficult for me. I’ve had to fight through/for a lot of different things in my life so I don’t consider myself to be a quitter.
A few days ago when I was faced with a difficult decision I decided it would be healthier for me to take a step back. (I’m laughing because I can’t even force myself to type the words quit.) Let me try that again. I decided it would be healthier for me if I quit. There, I said it – I quit. (grins)
Let me start at the beginning.
One of the great things about working for myself is that I can try different types of projects. A few weeks ago I was approached by someone offering me a rather sweet gig. My first thought was, sweet – this is absolutely something that I can do!
After a few days I realized that it wasn’t going to work. It just wasn’t a fit. I was stressing because I wasn’t giving her what she wanted, and I’m sure she was about ready to pull her hair out (I’m not really sure because she never said as much.) So, after about a week I was quite honest with her and told her that I didn’t think I was a fit for what she needed. I didn’t want to waist either of our time.
I think the hardest part of quitting was wondering what she thought of me. Other than corresponding via email, I’ve never talked to this lady before. (In fact, she lives in another state.) I couldn’t help but wonder if she thinks I’m a loser because I couldn’t give her exactly what she wanted? Was she going to talk about me to other people?
As I was laying in bed that night (trying to go to sleep) it hit me like a ton of bricks – it doesn’t matter what she thinks about me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the only person who gets a vote in my self worth has already cast His vote and that’s all that matters. He loves me exactly how He created me! I quickly had to confess to my Lord how sorry I was. He reminded me that I’m not perfect and that I can’t be everything to everyone.
What is that you need to quit? There’s a nudging in your heart to let it go but you just keep putting it off. Let me tell you, even though I felt like a loser, I knew that quitting was the best thing I could do. Don’t put it off any longer – you’ll feel so relieved after you quit (even if you call it stepping back)!