[fancy_box] Disclosure: The words in this series are candid, raw and very personal. I don’t share so you’ll feel sorry for me, but to help someone else that finds themselves on a surprise pregnancy journey and to let them know they’re not alone! (One thing I’ve learned through this thing called life is that my story is valuable and through my sharing the Lord may be able to help someone else.)[/fancy_box]
Check out My Surprise Pregnancy Journey if you missed the first part of this series!
Although it wasn’t as bad as when I first learned the news of my pregnancy, I still faced days of depression. Like most pregnant women, I didn’t have a lot of energy, and I still wasn’t sleeping through the night without waking up. My vivid dreams were followed by being totally awake for what seemed like hours. Not only was I emotionally drained, but physically too!
A Fresh Word
As I picked up Dear Jesus for my morning devotions, once again, I knew the words were written just for me. Here’s a snippet of that day’s devotion:
“Rather than planning and evaluating, practice trusting and thanking Me continually. When you find yourself flitting down your well-worn path of planning, stop and affirm your trust in me. It can be as simple as saying, ‘I trust you, Jesus, to help me with this.’ Remember I will be with you at that future time, helping you make decisions when needed…
Your sense of responsibility to make judgements about everything is both hurtful and distorted. This attitude easily deteriorates into criticizing and complaining. Though you may not realize it, much of this negativity is ultimately directed at Me, the One who is sovereign over all things. Thankful words are the best replacements for your criticisms and complaints…As you practice trusting and thanking Me, the quality of your life will improve immediately.”
Without even realizing it, I had been directing my negativity at the Lord. Even though I had been running to Him and knew this whole situation was in His hands, I still wanted to change this situation. Life wasn’t what I’d planned. I knew my attitude had to change if things were going to get better. Just as the book said, I wanted my quality of life to improve.
In addition to my prayer of “Lord, help me know how to feel about this situation” I added “Lord, help me to have a good attitude.” (Thankfully Trent prayed daily for the little gift growing inside my tummy, because I wasn’t able to.)
When I had abdominal pain, instead of getting upset about it because I didn’t want to be in this situation, I would thank the Lord that I wasn’t nauseated like my sisters were during their pregnancies. Instead of feeling sorry for myself for not being able to sleep through the night, I would thank Him for the sleep that I did get. I decided to follow my own advice and started taking my thoughts captive.