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Can you plan for the unexpected?

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Guest post by Candy (my mom) from Reflections From My Porch Swing.

The thought of becoming a widow is something that most women avoid simply because it is too painful.  However, it is a possibility and there are things that a woman should do to prepare.

One of the greatest blessings and gifts that a husband can give his wife is making financial preparations for her before he becomes ill or dies suddenly.  A sad fact is that for most widows those kinds of preparations have not been made and she can find herself left with hospital bills, funeral bills, one less income or no income at all, a home and/or cars not paid for, credit card debts or other untold debts, the expense of children to raise and upcoming college costs, etc.  I would urge a wife right now to have a serious talk with her husband about making plans for a possible demise.  Any man worth his salt will want to do his best to insure that his wife and children are taken care of should he go first.

There are certain steps that must be taken financially in advance of widowhood and the most important of those is to find a personal certified financial planner who can help a married couple make wise financial decisions, but also has a heart for widows and has experience in dealing with widows.  My own personal financial advisor is Ben Phillips, CFP. Not only is he my advisor, but he has become my trustworthy friend that I can go to any time with any questions.

It would be wise to locate and have the following papers in a safe place:

  • Wills and letters of instruction
  • Trust documents and powers of attorney
  • Joint tax returns for the past 5 years
  • Most recent W-2 forms from his employer
  • Any outstanding loans
  • Records of employee benefits such as retirement accounts or stock option plans and any additional insurance policies like medical, homeowner, auto, disability, or umbrella policies. Be sure to include all policy numbers and contact information for all of these.
  • Real estate documents like titles, deeds, leases, rental agreements, the more recent mortgage or home loan statements
  • Financial statements including checking, savings, CD, brokerage, retirement accounts, safe deposit box and credit cards
  • Stock certificates and current statements of mutual fund holdings or other investments
  • List of credit cards and names under which they are listed
  • Receipts for major purchases and warranties
  • Business partnership agreements
  • Car titles, registrations, loan and lease agreements
  • Official government papers like a social security card or military discharge, if applicable
  • Birth, death, and marriage certificates
  • Pre- and post-nuptial agreements

Your certified personal financial advisor not only should be able to help you make preparations, but he or she should know all of the myriad of things that need to be taken care of afterwards and be able to guide you through each process step by step.  You need someone like that whom you can completely trust not to take advantage of you because you will find yourself in such a state of shock and “widow fog” that you will be unable to think clearly or even remember what you are told.  This is a very vulnerable time and you do not want someone that will lead you astray and defraud you out of any money.

In order to settle your loved one‘s affairs and to establish claims for benefits, you‘ll need to have all of the above documents in order. Work now to get them together in a safe place so that you can find them if they are ever needed.

About Candy: I became a widow on Nov. 10th, 2009 after 36 years, 4 months, and 10 days of a wonderful marriage.  Two months later on Jan. 2, 2010, my mom joined my husband Bob in heaven and 2 months after that my dad followed.   I am the mother of 4 grown daughters and have 4 sons-in-law, 6 grandchildren here on earth and 1 in heaven. 

Things I like to do are reading, taking long drives, wearing flip flops as many months of the year as I can,  spending time on the beach, watching birds eating from my bird feeder, the colors of a peacock as well as the colors purple and yellow, lots and lots of natural light, and writing. I am a romantic person at heart.  I am also an introvert who is most comfortable sitting on the sidelines watching and listening to people.  I would rather be outdoors on a riding mower than inside cooking.  I love the smell of watermelon, fresh cut grass, and “Beautiful” perfume. I would rather text than talk although it’s nice to get a phone call at least once a day.

I am very passionate about helping widows and am a supporter of an organization for widows called Widow’s Walk in Colorado that is founded and directed by Christina Cassidy Bortz.

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